The Last Twenties

I turned 29, 2 days ago.

Went to court in the morning, and then continued my work at the office and decided to go on a run with several colleagues and friends. Just when I was about to reach 7km, my friend A who was part of the running group I had that night called me on my phone and said she had injured herself. I asked her where she was and ran as fast as I can her way. And then surprise surprise! The whole group waited for me with four slices of cake with candles on top. Hahaha I was honestly touched and did not expect anything. It was simply sweet of them to have done that :)

DH has been away since Sunday due to a work training/ course. I am thankful for the group of friends I have for keeping me company everytime I am alone. It is not that I am not close with my family but we live so far apart, I treat my friends as if they are also family. I keep in touch with my family on a daily basis but only through Whatsapp and Telegram. That is normal, right?

Now that I am in the final year of being in my twenties I am even more determined to fix this huge spot of bother in my life. May the luck be with me!

p.s. - Two weeks into 2015, my sister-in-law announced her second pregnancy. Details in the next entry.

Reflecting on 2014, Looking Forward to 2015

Left 2014 with so many memories. Both bitter and sweet. Among the highlights of my year:

January

Turned 28.

February

DH turned 29.

March

DH graduated from his police inspector training.

We went on a romantic getaway in Langkawi shortly after.

Came back from our getaway with a transfer order to another division. Something I actually have been waiting and praying for, for a long time.

June

Ran 16km for Mizuno Run

July

Received my long-awaited promotion.

August

Ran 15km in Larian MAKSAK

September

Broke my half marathon record in 2XU competitive challenge (21km in 2 hours 35 minutes)

Discovered the problem that prevented us from conceiving. Decided to do the second test. CD3 blood drawn.

October

Ran 15km Putrajaya Urban City Run with DH.

November

Ran my first trail run. 8km Petzl Trail Night Run, Putrajaya.

Ran 10km in UM Larian Gegar Neon with DH.

December

Ran my second trail run. 12km Salomon Trail Run, with DH.

Had my CD20 blood sample drawn.

DH had his semen sample taken for analysis.

DH's grandmother blamed me for being barren as if she knows. *deleting bad memories*

Mama asked me to stop running to better care after my womb, as if she knows better. *deleting this as well*

I think you can guess how I have used work and running as my distractions to not think so much about TTC or baby-related stuff. I want to do the same in 2015 but this time stronger. In 2014, I cried a lot. In the shower, in the car, everytime a friend/relative announced they are pregnant, after baby-showers/cukur jambul, you name it. I cared so much about people's remarks hurled at me during get-togethers be it during the festive season or at weddings, etc. I do not want to care as much in 2015. I will try my best not to let them know that they are winning. This is my battle, I should be in charge.

Here are among the amazing things that are going to happen to me in 2015:

January

A visit to the Jump Street with DH and our mutual friends.

100Plus Outrunner 12km with DH.

Progesterone test and semen analysis results.

Celebrate the last of my 20's :)

My first experience conducting a full civil procedure trial on my own. (oh I forgot to tell you I am a government counsel/ lawyer)

February

Nike We Run KL 21km with DH and my closest friends.

DH's birthday.

March

Women's Health Night Run 12km

April

Shape Night Run 11.2km

October

Holiday with DH in Melbourne + Melbourne Marathon (10km maybe)

Baby or no baby, it's going to be great!

Progress

And so I went to have my CD20 progesterone level blood test taken 2 weeks ago. The clinic asked me to call back in the first week of February as the results will only be out by then along with DH's semen analysis. As we all know, waiting will always be a part of this journey in TTC. So we need to have patience and try our best to put this on the backburner at least for a while.

That's pretty much our progress in TTC so far. Nothing much but we try to take baby steps rather than do nothing at all. 

Just three days ago, DH and I completed yet another run. My second trail run experience and DH's first. Originally, the route only covered 10km but it was changed by the organizers on the day itself due for safety reasons. As a result, we had to complete 12km in total. It was the Salomon X Trail Run held in MAEPS/MARDI. Wet, muddy, hilly and slippery all the way but I enjoyed it very much especially when we reached the peaks of the hills. The breath-taking view and the fresh air we get to inhale up there cannot be traded with anything else. Climbing up and descending the hills can be pretty challenging but with good trail running shoes, it was pretty ok and still doable. DH however, decided that it would be the last trail run he would ever participate in LOL. I cannot say the same for me as I honestly enjoyed it.

I am planning to slow down and gradually stop running or at least decrease its frequency next year if we are to start with serious treatment but nothing is carved in stone yet until we get our blood test and semen analysis results. So in the meantime, I will keep pushing hard to achieve my fitness goals and personal satisfaction I get from this one outlet I have, that is - running!

Things Are Looking Up

Things are looking up to be better. On Saturday night, I completed my first ever trail run with my running buddy, Z. DH did not sign up for the event so it was only Z and I. 

It was Z's first night trail run and the first trail run ever for me. We signed up for 12km but the route was cut short to 9km because the first batch of runners strayed off from the first junction haha. All in all, it was one hell of  an experience as Z even managed to get lost in the hills with a group of other runners. The hilly terrain was not only confusing, but also mighty challenging. I found myself struggling for breath the higher we climbed. Only caught my breath during the last descend. Phew! But hey, another medal to add to my growing collections :)

And then yesterday night I went for a 6.14km recovery run and found that my time has improved tremendously. I am back to running 6 minutes 59 seconds per kilometre just like my average pace a year ago. Guess the trail run really helped tremendously.

On my TTC journey, I finally talked my GP into allowing me to take my CD21 blood test on CD20 this coming Friday. The result might not be accurate but I reasoned with my GP that my cycle has always been regular after all, so she agreed. She said results will be out 3 weeks from now together with DH's semen analysis.

I do not want to stress out so much so I think it's best to wait until then.

Of running from and towards

What do you do to forget about this persistent spot of bother (TTC)?

For me, I love to run. Literally. I run not only to distract myself from overthinking it (TTC) but also to keep fit.

I have been running since 2011. I run in 5km, 7km, 10km, 21km events and in October this year, I completed my first full marathon (42km). Running keeps me focused in life and motivates me to achieve more every time.

Recently, even DH took up running as a hobby after seeing my collection of finisher medals. Last Sunday, we scored another finisher medal each for completing the Putrajaya Urban City Run in the 15km men's/women's open events. 

DH managed to clock in at 1:55:07, while I took 1:58:16 to complete the distance. The route was pretty challenging especially the descending staircase up to the Convention Centre.

As an avid runner, it is normal for me to be posting my running progress and achievements online (FB, twitter, instagram, you name it) just so I can share the joy of running with people who matter (friends and family). But, for some reasons this seems to be taken out of its original context by a certain "concerned" quarters. Every now and then I would get a "sound" advice from these "concerned" quarters about how "concerned" they are with my running hobby - that I shouldn't be running so much because my womb my shift from its original place. Yes, absurd as this may sound but within the Malay culture, myths or in other words, nonsense such as this thrives! I have also been hearing these people speculating about running being the reason why I still haven't conceived after three years. 

These people are the same people who choose to be ignorant about the male factor infertility, mind you.