Daisypath - Anniversary

Friday, 23 January 2015

Sister-in-Law (DH's sister) is pregnant

She announced it in the family whatsapp group chat a couple of weeks ago. Honestly both DH and I were crushed that night. I did not immediately read the message as soon as it came in because I was just about to solat Isya' but DH did and he came to me and hugged me. I had no idea what was going on then. I thought it was just a normal hug so I just excused myself so I could pray. 

Finished praying and just like my everyday routine, I checked my phone one last time before going to bed. That was when I saw THE announcement in the form of positive UPT photo captioned "Alhamdulillah rezeki kami tahun ini."

I was confused with my own feeling at that time. I wanted to feel happy, I mean I felt happy at that time but I also felt sad with myself. I texted my congratulations and buried my face in my pillow. DH went around to hug me tight and said that, that was why he came to hug before. He knew how I would feel and it pains him too to see the pregnancy announcement by her sister and to see me all sad. I sobbed uncontrollably in his arms that everything he said after that was blur. I did not know what time I actually slept last night but I remember waking up with my pillow and DH's arms drenched in tears. Allahuakbar! How heartbroken I was.

I tried to go about my days like normal. I mean, I have my day job that needs my full attention, I also have my running hobby which I do enjoy doing with my friends, basically I just try to put all of my sorrows behind. I even reasoned it out. It was silly for me to feel down and jealous of my SIL just because she is pregnant for the second time and I am not even close to seeing my first BFP. So I left it at that and went about my life.

I thought I was doing okay until, the SIL decides to be on her oh-Im-pregnant-and-I-deserve-all-the-attention-in-this-world mode. The group chat is now full of her woes and whinings of how tired she is, how easily she becomes hungry, how her old clothes won't fit her, her cravings, etc you get it right? She became the most annoying person to me all of a sudden. It is not helping that the MIL is encouraging her. One night, the SIL said she was craving for satay so the MIL asked everyone to make time for dinner so we can take her out for satay as one happy family. According to MIL, we must support her since she is pregnant and all. I said no thanks but I have something more important to attend to. I hope they get the message. DH was not too keen of me joining them either. He was away at that time for a meeting so he managed to escape, himself hehe.

After the incident, you might think she has stopped with the whinings, right? Nope, it is getting worse by the day. Not wanting to torture myself, I have muted the group chat for one year. Yay! I also haven't seen her at all although Kajang is just a short distance from where I live (Putrajaya). No, I don't feel bad at all. At this point in time, I believe it is important for me to think of myself and how I feel first. And this has given me peace :)

I have also deactivated all of my social media accounts to avoid seeing her gloating about her pregnancy there. Trust me, I feel sooooooo much better now!

4 comments:

  1. DL, it would take some time for us to accept that news kan... Believe me, time is all u need. My first 3 years of marriage, i was so sensitive about pregnancy news...but after 10 years... well, i'd be lying if i said i'm 100% ok with that kind of news... but, I'm better now...much2 better... so give it some time... strength is not something that u build overnite... even muscle pun need to be trained to be strong kan....apa lagi hati yg rapuh ni...

    p/s: putrajaya dekat dah ngan my opis :-)

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    1. Kak ST, true. It will forever be hard to accept the news. I can't even imagine bila anak keduanya lahir nanti. Syukur kita dilahirkan dalam keluarga beragama dan bertuhan kan, Kak? At least nangis nangis kita bila mengadu pada Allah pun dapat dekatkan kita kepadaNya.

      Wow! 10 years? I don't know if I can be as strong as you.

      p/s: Entah-entah kita pernah terserempak kat Alamanda :)

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  2. Menangis me baca ur entry ni DL..i feel you..maybe sbb hr ni i am in CD1..masih beremosi...

    Salam Perkenalan,UmiSufi

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    1. Salam Kak Umi, biasalah TTCian mana yang tak macam roller coaster emosinya? Kita harunginya bersama-sama ok?

      DL pun selalu lebih sensitipnya on CD1.

      But we'll survive. We have Allah and we have our TTCian sisters :)

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